Friday, October 31, 2008

Top10 reasons why Trick or Treating is better that sex...

10. Guaranteed toget at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you are tired, wait ten minutes and go hit it again.

8. The uglier you look the easier it isto get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you the candy.

6. It's ok when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are someone else.

5. 40 years from now youwill still like candy.

4. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door.

3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. Less guilt the next morning.

And the number one reason trick or treating is better that sex....

1. You can do the WHOLE neighborhood!!

What dating was like in 1957...

It's the summer of 1957, and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue.

Harold's a pretty hip guy, with his own car and a 'Ducktail' hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in. 'Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?'

Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do. Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue's mother responds, 'Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.' Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold, and he says, 'Whaaaaat?' 'Yes,' says Peggy Sue's mother. 'We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she 'd screw all night if we let her!' Harold's eyes light up, and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately he has re vised his plans for the evening.

A few moments lat er, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes and announces that she's ready to go.* Almost with breathless anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, 'Have a good evening kids!' with a small wink for Harold.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back in to the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother....... "Dammit's the Twist!......It's called the Twist!"