Wednesday, January 28, 2009

How about sum jokes?

Murphy lay in hospital covered in bandages head to foot - with just two little slits for his eyes.
'What happened to you?' asked Cassidy. 'I staggered out of the pub and a lorry hit me a glancing blow and knocked me through a plate glass window.'
'Begod,' said Cassidy. 'It's a good job you were wearing those bandages or you'd have been cut to ribbons!'

A woman and a man driver are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt - though their cars are written off. As they crawl out of the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and strikingly beautiful.
Then the woman turns to the man and gushes breathily: 'That's incredible - both our cars are demolished but we're fine. It must be a sign from God that we are meant to be together!'
Sensing a promise, the man stammers back, 'Oh yes, I agree with you completely!'The woman goes on, 'And look, though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine survived intact, too! It must be another sign. Let's drink to our love!'
'Well, OK!' says the man, going with the moment. She offers him the bottle, so he downs half of it and hands it back.'Your turn,' says the man.'
No, thanks,' says the woman, 'I think I'll just wait for the police.'

The first says: "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The second then starts: "That sounds like a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one called Quinns. At Quinns, you buy a drink, Quinn buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Quinn buys you another drink."
Then the third pipes up. "You think that's good? Where I come from, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That sounds fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies their friend, "but it happened to my sister!"

Three macho mice are sitting at a bar discussing just how tough they were.
The first mouse slams a shot and says: "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it 20 to 30 times." And, with that, he slams another shot.
The second mouse slams a shot and says: "That's nothing. I take those poison bait tablets, cut them up, and snort them, just for the fun of it." And, with that, he slams another shot.
The third mouse slams a shot, gets up, and turns to walk away.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" ask his friends.
The third mouse stops and replies: "I'm going home to shag the cat."

One night, Mrs Mcmillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep,
"Hello Paddy, but where is my husband, he went with you to the beer factory"
Paddy shook his head"Ah Mrs Mcmillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat of guinness stout and drowned"
Mrs Mcmillen starts crying"Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?"
Paddy shakes his head"Not really, he got out 3 times to pee"

Riding on the snow covered bike lane.....

yesterday took the dogs to tanner dog park and ran steep uphill sprints in the deep snow. did about 20 of those with 1 minute up and 1 minute rest. jogged home after that with a slow pace.
and that is a good leg strength workout!!!

today rode up millcreek road(yes again) for a TT of 30 minutes but focusing on strength workout. bigger gear, slower cadence and in the bike lane that had about 3-4" of soft slushy snow. took out the vassago hardtail with the studded tires at 11 psi(made a mistake and let out too much air). so at that low of air pressure it is a big workout to turn bounce mushy tires in the soft snow.
almost blew a gasket a couple of times. HR was fairly level at 177-182.

here is the first 1/4 mile of the road fairly clear

then the road is nicly cleared, but not the bike lane.

with the snow being so sticky, i got the nokians filled up with muck. but they cleared very fast as soon as i strayed on the cleared road.

it been the lightest snow fall, but constant for the last three days(think of snow fog) so the trees are heavy with snow. and they will unload right when you pass under it seems.

here is the millcreek road pass the gate for the xc skiers that are using my blog for condition updates. hardpack with 4-6" of powder on top.
after that took the dogs to tanner dog park and rode around in easy gear for 2 hours. not much of a work out cept for the tailbones. got a few little pushes up a hill, but not much. just fun.
i am back to riding to work nightly for a steep uphill of 30 minutes at 175 hr.
lower back getting less tired. the outdoor retalier show really killed it, but it is feeling less everyday.
a shout out to my singapore, croatia, and russian readers today. thanks for stopping by.